Dealing with Negativity and the “D” Word

By Juhi Bansal

Overweight, skinny, dark, pasty, occupied, free, married, single, available, not available, living in, separated, want babies, don’t want babies….does any of this describe your life? I have friends and readers writing in often, telling me how depressed they are because of one or more of the above. I have a simple mantra to combat that:

Can you do something about it?- If yes, get off your bottom and go do it!

If no, what’s the point in obsessing about it, move on!

If people bother you for your so-called “shortcomings”- are these “people” important? If Yes- sit them down and tell them their nagging affects you- hopefully that should resolve it.

If no, IGNORE.

Most of the negativity around us is built by us rather than anyone else. Why should someone else tell me how to lead MY life. From my own experience I’ve learnt something very important- all the Sharma aunties and Sarla Tais of the world surprisingly have a change of heart when their own off-springs decide to not get married or leave their babies with maids. Then it suddenly becomes a “moment of pride”’. Half the time, they don’t even remember they expressed their “opinions” about your life decisions when you met them last. Then why should you lose any sleep over it? Forget about them, shut all the noise out. Listen to your heart. No one should tell you what is the “correct” way or socially acceptable way to live- as long as you are not personally harming another living being.

Coming back to dealing with negativity, 90% of the time (data picked up randomly from reminiscing about my own life) you can change the situation in your favour. All it needs is ACTION.

When you write to me about how you want to lose weight but can’t give up eating- remember all you have to do is burn more than you eat- so eat all you want, just make sure you work it all off.

When you write to me about how you would like to travel but cannot afford it- I did not have enough money for my first Euro trip. I saved up every month (no random shopping trips, eating out etc) for a year and then booked a super shoe string budget trip. I loved that trip so much I built a separate holiday fund from there on where I put money every month to save up for my next trip. There is always a solution in view- depends on how much you want it J

But, like I said, not everything will have a solution in view. There will be a few times when you feel so down that you can’t just snap out of it. Times when something as simple as smiling would appear gruelling. Times when you would rather sleep than face people. Clinical depression doesn’t go away after a day in the mall or a dinner out. It needs counselling, sometimes medication and above all care & understanding from those around us. It is nothing to be ashamed of. More and more celebrities our coming out with their ordeals, their bouts of depression and how they dealt with it.

If it’s happening with you, you don’t have to go through it alone. Just like a persistent cough needs medical attention, so does this. Seek help- professional or familial but don’t ignore it. If you have a friend or family member going through depression- help, talk or just be there. If they could help it they would.

For all my friends, followers and family- I am always one message, one phone call away. Please write to me as you do now and I will try to give you solutions. If I cannot give you solutions, I will hear you out, be a shoulder to cry on, help you through it. All of us need a friend, I promise to not judge and I won’t care if you do 🙂

Last week we had a small Bloggers’ get together at the newly launched Lounge from London- Tigerbay. Needless to say we had a lot of fun! I wore something I like to call “School Girl Chic”. For all those who want me to “act my age”- I am 13 in my mind!